probelms with drupal6 php5 and mysql4

Hi
First off as its my first post, Hello community :)

I am using kubuntu at the level where i know enough to be dangerous to my system
I have trawled and trawled but cant seem to crack this nut.

my specs
I am running kubuntu, hardy version,
php v 5.2.4-2ubuntu5.3
php5 -mysql5.2.4-2ubuntu5.3 (from dpkg-i php5-mysql)

mysql 4.1.11b-etch1
had to pull mysql4 from etch as hardy wont let me do 4
apache Version: 2.2.8-1ubuntu0.3
drupal 6

I have installed the above to try to replicate my isp which hasn't upgraded to mysql5 and has no intention of doing so. (i asked them) on initial installation everything worked and i was laughing. but on restart of the host it all went a bit pete tong.

i now get the error "The mysql error was: Unable to use the MySQL database because the MySQL extension for PHP is not installed. Check your php.ini to see how you can enable it.."

i have edited /etc/php5/apache2/php.ini to enable the exensions using both mysql and mysqli in the line extension=msqli.so

I think all the permissions are correct

drwxr-xr-x 4 root root 4096 2008-11-02 18:26 php5
drwxr-xr-x 2 root root 4096 2008-11-03 22:09 mysql

i have tried

sudo chown mysql:mysql mysqld
and sudo chmod 755 mysqld

as i said i know enough to break it but not fix it, sorry :(
is there a way around this ? i don't specifically need mysql4 except that my isp is on 4.1.22-standard

any help would be most rewarded with a virtual pint :) if you live in the south east of england then it may even be a real one :)

Cheers
ian