Can someone please write a script to sort out hosting companies

After a nightmarish week trying to get Drupal working on a VPS I've been looking for a new hosting company. Maybe I'm illiterate but reading this forum isn't making the decision any better. Can someone write a script that counts how many times a hosting company has been named in this forum and add one if the comment about it is good and subtract one if the comment is bad? Then form a table with the information? (It's a joke.)

I think if someone did that, from what I can glean, hotdrupal.com or linode.com would come out on top.

Oh, BTW, if your a hosting company that advertises on Drupal.org, thank you so much for supporting the project! However, the best way to support Drupal is to make sure that all your technicians understand how to configure a server to run it, because you will get illiterate (see first line) idiot noobs like me giving you a chunk of money every six months. You know, what's good for the Drupal community is good for you. Thanks. (I don't sound bitter, do I?)