One way reciprocated relationship confused

I am having a problem when relationships are reciprocated.

I have it set up so that relationships are one-way and may be reciprocated - not so much a relationship, but more of a following.

If a user friends another user and the other user does not reciprocate, all is fine.

When users friend each other, the add/remove link doesn't show up properly.

Example - see the record below - user 6 friended user 4, and vice versa.

| rid | requester_id | requestee_id | rtid | approved | created    | changed    | flags |
|  40 |            6 |            4 |    1 |        1 | 1376454775 | 1376454775 |     0 |
|  41 |            4 |            6 |    1 |        1 | 1376492807 | 1376492807 |     0 |

Logged in as user 6, I view profile 4 - I see no friendship link at all (no add, no remove).
Logged in as user 4, I view profile 6 - I see a link to add the user.

Is there a setting I'm not understanding that is making this happening?

Screenshots of my settings:
http://screencast.com/t/v5ONyac3LK
http://screencast.com/t/RcMjjWUNg

This is happening at least on the 2 latest builds.